You Belong Here: Reclaiming Confidence from Imposter Syndrome

There’s a quiet kind of fear that doesn’t always make sense, not even to the people who feel it most.

It creeps in during promotions, celebrations, job interviews, dates with someone you connect with, or even during a simple compliment from someone you respect. It whispers:

“They made a mistake putting me here.”
“If people knew the truth, they wouldn’t trust me.”
“I’m not as good as they think I am.”

That voice? That’s imposter syndrome—and it’s more common than most of us admit out loud.

If you’ve ever had that inner panic of “I’m not supposed to be here”, you’re not alone. I first learned about imposter syndrome while I was training to become a therapist. Sitting in classrooms surrounded by people I admired, learning about human psychology and healing, I still found myself wondering if I somehow got into the program by accident.

I was literally studying the science of mental health—while actively doubting my own capacity to help others.

The irony wasn’t lost on me. But the shame? It still hit hard.

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is that nagging belief that your success is a fluke; luck, timing, or being good at pretending. It’s the internal struggle of feeling like a fraud, even in the face of evidence that you're capable and competent.

It can show up in any field or identity-  first responders, athletes, students, parents, police officers, teachers, and people like you and me, who care deeply and try hard.

Some signs of imposter syndrome include:

Persistent self-doubt – Feeling undeserving of praise or success.

Fear of exposure – Worrying you’ll be “found out” as not smart/skilled enough.

Attributing success to others – Thinking you only did well because of someone else's help or luck.

Overworking or procrastinating – Either trying to prove your worth nonstop or freezing from fear of failure.

Difficulty accepting praise – Brushing off compliments or feeling uncomfortable with recognition.

Intense perfectionism – Setting impossibly high standards and being hard on yourself.

Avoiding risk – Staying small or silent so you don’t mess up or get noticed.

Why So Many of Us Feel This Way

Imposter syndrome is especially common in high-achievers, caregivers, and people in helping professions. It’s often tied to past experiences, but doesn’t have to be. Maybe you were praised only when you performed as a child, maybe you were told not to “brag,” or maybe you had to work twice as hard just to feel noticed.

And for those who hold marginalized identities—whether due to race, gender, sexuality, disability, or background—these feelings can be even more intense. When the system wasn’t built for you, of course you question whether you belong in it.

A Personal Story (And a Universal One)

I remember my first few therapy clients. I showed up prepared, educated, and present- and still left the room feeling like I had no idea what I was doing.

I would obsess over every word I said, worried I hadn’t been helpful. I feared one mistake meant I wasn’t meant for this work. And yet…clients kept showing up.

They shared.
They cried.
They healed.
And in that sense, we both grew—one session, one breath, one truth at a time.

It helped me wrap my head around the idea that sometimes confidence doesn’t arrive before you begin, but rather, it builds in motion.

How to Start Reclaiming Your Confidence

Here are a few small but powerful steps to loosen imposter syndrome’s grip:

1. Name It

Imposter syndrome thrives in silence. Give it a name, say it out loud, write it down. “This is imposter syndrome. I’m not a fraud—I’m just scared.”

2. Collect Evidence

Keep a folder of kind emails, feedback, wins, or even small moments that made you feel proud. Let that be the data you reflect on, not just your doubts.  Remember that feelings are not facts.

3. Talk to Someone Safe

Whether it’s a therapist, a mentor, or a friend, speak it out loud. Shame shrinks when shared in safe spaces.

4. Practice Affirming Mantras

Try saying:
“I belong here. My voice matters. I bring value.”
“I can hold space for both fear and courage today.”

Or even,
“I am doing my best.”

Say it when you're brushing your teeth. Whisper it before the meeting. Let it be a counterbalance to the inner critic.

5. Stretch (your thoughts) Gently

Take small risks. Speak up in a meeting. Apply for the thing. Ask the question. Let each “stretch” teach your nervous system that you can- and nothing terrible happens when you do.

The Truth?

You are not here by accident.
You’re not faking it.
You’ve more than likely worked for where you are- and you get to grow into it without apologizing.

Imposter syndrome may not disappear overnight, but it doesn’t have to rule you. The goal isn’t to never feel doubt again- it’s to keep showing up anyway. To gently challenge the voice that says you don’t belong.

Because here’s the truth: You do.

You belong in the room.
In the conversation.
In the career.
In the relationship.
In the healing.
In the joy.
In your own damn life.

You belong here.

If imposter syndrome is something you’re struggling with, therapy can be a powerful place to explore its roots and rewrite your inner narrative. Moonstone Wellness offers counseling and trauma-informed care in Laramie, Wyoming, both in person and via telehealth. You’re welcome in our space, exactly as you are.